Four days

How different four days can be.  On Friday we had the news that our dear friend Karena Mackay had gone to be with her Saviour, Jesus.  We know that she has gone to a better place and that we will see her again in glory, but that still did not take away that immediate feeling of mourning; that churn that happens in your stomach and the tears that follow swiftly afterwards.  B and I continued our evening, dwelling on fond memories of our friend.

Contrasting that has been the joy of celebrating Rachel's first birthday.  We did this by visiting family on Saturday and then enjoyed swimming and a birthday tea yesterday on her actual birthday.   She had a great time and was so excited that she forgot that sleep in the afternoon is a good thing!!!

It's been one of those weekends where we have understood and have carried out to a certain extent that which Paul writes in Romans 12:15:

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

I pray that my daughter will grow to be a mighty woman of God and declare Jesus with as much commitment and love as Karena did during her life.  I also pray that she would know that same assurance that Karena knew as she went off to be with Jesus.

These past four days have been about two people who have changed my life, both for very different reasons and for both of them I am truly thankful.

8 months in...

8 months ago, we had not met our beautiful daughter. As Valentines Day happened, we were totally unsure when BT would be born. There had been no signs and B was already 3 days late - if you know my B, she doesn't do late!!!

Within the next 24 hours our baby girl entered the world. 8 months on and I am totally blown away, on a daily basis, at the privilege and the responsibility and the joy it is to be a father. For sure, it is not all plain sailing. There is much about me as a person that has had to change - I have become more of a morning lark than a night owl for instance - why? because making precious time to spend with my little girl is priceless. I will get other sleep, these moments will go.

It is as I have pondered on this first 8 months that the wonder of being in God's family has once again excited me. I am His child and He looks on me with even more love than I do Rachel. I know that He takes joy in the fact that I am His son. I know that no matter what I do wrong He will love me anyway. I know that my love from Him is unconditional, unfading and unfailing; it is for now, for the future and for eternity; it is high and wide and deep; it is free, unmerited and without strings.

My Rachel knows that if she topples over and bangs her head, then i will come and gather her in my arms and although unable to take the physical pain away, I can carry her until she is once again ready to try and crawl again (most of the time that is a very short amount of time!) She knows that if she cries out for long enough I will come to her. Our God is the same. He picks us up and carries us when we fall, if we let him, and He hears us cry out and responds at the time that He considers right.

This time tomorrow I would have been a father for 8 months; I am so enjoying my relationship with Rachel, and I am so thankful that through this little girl I am also growing in my relationship with my Father in Heaven.

Enjoying fatherhood

Sean spoke today on fatherhood today at church. 6 months ago I would only have been looking forward to what it could be like to be a father. I would have been listening to Sean's talk and taking notes for the time that I would be a father.

Today I sat and drank up all that he had to say, knowing that I now have a little girl who is growing fast. It was great to hear about the fact that I need to love her and to think about the priorities afresh, however the most important thing I will take from this morning will be that I am my daughters priest. I am the one who needs to intercede for her before God. I am not her High Priest as that would be Jesus, but I am her priest. For her, as she grows up to see me reading the bible and praying, knowing that part of that is prayer for her alerted me once more to the great call of fatherhood.

There was so much other good stuff that Sean said this morning and I recommend listening to it here. I know that I have so much to learn but I know that I want to be the father that God is calling me to be and the one that my daughter needs me to be!

The joy of a father

I cannot stop speaking about my darling daughter. For some I guess I speak too much about her, but I want to tell the world about her. Every opportunity I get to tell some one and share my joy, I take it - and probably give more information than they are actually interested in.

As I realised this whilst standing in St Andrews bookshop a while ago, it made me think once more of Luke 15 and the parable of the lost sheep. It says that the shepherd lets people know about the finding of the sheep by calling to them and inviting them to rejoice with him. It then says that there will be more rejoicing over a sinner who repents - a person being born again.

The joy I feel about Rachel is only a shadow of the joy that our Father feels and expresses when someone gives their life to follow Jesus. When we rang the salvation bell for one 10 year old lad, we were just joining in that celebration. I long to hear that bell ring again or at least hear some stories of friends of our church moving closer to that time!

Our baby girl is here!!!

On Sunday 15th February 2009, Rachel Ruby Taylor was born into this world. It is an incredible feeling knowing that we are now mummy and daddy; the elation of meeting her married with the overwhelming sense of responsibility. Everything that I had expected from the length of labour to the first night were completely misunderstood.

My two girls are wonderful, beautiful and a gift from my Father in heaven. I know that over the coming weeks and months we shall start to develop as parents, but right now we are just loving the fact that she is here and that she is well. THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Off now to help change a nappy!!! How life has changed!