10 years ago this October I met a young lady called Barbie Lebaigue. It is now 6 years to the day since she became Mrs Barbie Taylor. Since that time I have learnt a lot about what it means to put someone else before yourself. When we first married, I thought that I should love B as i liked to be loved. I thought that gifts and the physical side of the relationship would be the ideal ways to show her my love, however I soon worked out that that was not the case. I found out that B felt loved when we spent time together, especially if we were doing housework or shopping.
I also discovered that communication was imperative. B loves to chat, she loves it when we sit and have conversations about the future, about how we are feeling about life, in fact she just loves it when we sit and talk. I don't always find this easy, but I know that this is how I can show my love for her.
In the short time that we have been married I have seen that the biblical mandate for man to love his wife as Christ loved the church is not an easy thing. I have found that the best way to do this is to become a student of my wife. I need to know what she likes so he can surprise her; I need to know what she doesn't like so I can steer clear of it; I need to know when to talk and when to listen; I need to know what makes her feel special; I need to know how to best care for her in a way that releases and encourages her in the gifts that she has.
I for one have enjoyed the past 6 years of studying B. I am only right at the beginning and I know I have a long way to go, but I know that my want is to know my wife more deeply and understand her more fully.